How To Gauge Her Interest With Eye Contact Attraction (2023)

When it comes to attraction, eye contact does a lot. You can use eye contact to show a girl you’re interested, to gauge her interest, and to create or deepen her attraction in you. This article will cover all of that, and will even touch on the secret that allows you to make perfect eye contact with a woman every time.

(Video) How to Tell If She Wants You | 4 Kinds of Eye Contact Demystified

Using eye contact to show interest

Eye contact and attraction go hand in hand; the simplest way to show a girl you’re interested in her is through eye contact. It may seem like a subtle sign of interest to guys, but to women, it’s clear as day. But to do it right, you want to avoid the mistake most guys make in giving too much eye contact too soon.

You see, your eye contact reflects your level of interest, and interest becomes more valuable the more she has to work for it. So if you’re at a bar and just started talking to a girl you don’t know, then you want to make eye contact about 50% of the time. The rest of the time can be spent looking elsewhere (if you stand shoulder to shoulder, rather than face to face, it’s easy to casually look away). As the interaction progresses and she proves that she’s an awesome girl, you’ll want to reward her with more interest. This is when you give her more and more eye contact.

Using eye contact to gauge interest

Eye contact is the most common indicator a girl is interested in you. If you’re wondering whether or not that girl across the room wants to meet you, here are a few ways eye contact will let you know:

  • If a girl makes eye contact with you, looks away, and then looks back at you all within about 30 seconds…she’s interested.

  • If you lock eyes with a girl and she immediately looks down and away, that’s a sign of embarrassment. She’s probably interested, but just feels shy.

    (Video) Number One Way To Gauge A Woman's Interest Level

  • If you lock eyes with a girl for a longer period of time than the usual quick glance – even if it’s just 2-3 seconds – it’s a sign she’s likely interested.

Create attraction with confident eye contact

Our eyes express our emotional state. Anytime you allow someone to look into your eyes you’re allowing them to see how you feel at that moment. You’re making yourself vulnerable and letting them get a glimpse of the real you. And this is why eye contact and attraction are so strongly connected. Eye contact is an incredibly strong indicator of confidence.

When someone feels insecure they will have a hard time maintaining eye contact. Their eyes will likely dart around the room as a means of “hiding”. But when someone feels confident, maintaining eye contact comes easily. A confident man is able to keep a strong, steady gaze. His eyes don’t dart nervously, they move with purpose and intention.

So when you’re talking to a woman, keep a steady gaze. When you look away to do so with purpose and intention and avoid nervous darting. It’ll help you come across as more confident, which will help generate those feelings of attraction in her.

Once you establish your confidence with eye contact, you automatically start the attraction process and you’ll want to keep that going. Check out the Attraction Alchemy System to learn how to nail your first impression and get more dates.

Create attraction with friendly eye contact

(Video) Instant Tests That Reveal Her Interest

Plenty of guys can make strong, steady eye contact but still find they’re unable to connect or build much attraction. This usually is a result of how they make eye contact. To build attraction eye contact needs to show more than confidence. It also needs to show that you’re a positive, friendly guy. And the way to do this is by “smiling with your eyes”.

Listen or watch something that makes you laugh really hard. When you’re done laughing, notice how your eyes feel and take a look at them in a mirror. You can see and feel that warm positivity coming from your eyes. Remember that feeling, because that’s what you want to have whenever you make eye contact with a woman. You’ll project a warm, friendly vibe and she’ll be more receptive to you.

The secret to perfect, effortless eye contact

Sure eye contact shows confidence and interest, but that’s not what it’s really about. What eye contact is really about, is giving. It’s about giving the woman attention and respect, and showing her that you appreciate her for the beautiful person she is (and not just physical beauty). When you’re able to see a woman in that light – to look at her and appreciate her for who she is – then perfect, effortless eye contact (the steady gaze, smiling with your eyes, knowing when to hold eye contact and when to look away) all comes naturally.

Eye contact bonus! What to do when you get caught staring at a woman

When you’re checking out a girl and she catches you, what do you do? Lots of guys out there will feel embarrassed, avert their eyes, and act like nothing happened. Their eyes will often dart down and away, as if to tell the woman “sorry I was checking you out”.

But all this does is show a lack of confidence. And if that’s her first impression, then building up any attraction is going to be incredibly difficult. So instead of apologizing, own up to it. Maintain that eye contact and attraction will have a chance to be created.

(Video) 5 "NON CREEPY" Ways To Show Interest To A Girl (Women WANT You To Do These)

Besides, there’s nothing wrong with letting a girl know she’s attractive and has caught your attention. It’s flattering. So long as you’re not creepy about it, there’s nothing to worry about. And to ensure you don’t come off as creepy, all you’ve got to do is relax and give her a nice smile.

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Can Eye Contact be Intimidating?

Yes, it is natural to be intimidated by eye contact. The feeling of being looked at makes us more self conscious about what we are doing. Also, looking into someone’s eyes might make it harder to maintain the conversation and pay attention to what they are saying. It can make us feel unsure of what we’re about to say or unsure of how we look. If you feel intimidated by eye contact, you can try holding longer eye contact with someone who you feel more comfortable with or don’t feel sexual tension with. Then, slowly move onto a harder target. Putting yourself in gradually uncomfortable situations will help build up your skills, to a point where making eye contact with your crush will feel the same way as making eye contact with a close friend.

What Does it Mean When Someone Avoids Eye Contact?

People can avoid eye contact for many reasons so combine it with other body language signals before reaching a conclusion. If someone avoids eye contact because they feel uncomfortable, her body language will probably also be closed off (her arms will be crossed and she will be trying to get physically smaller). She could also be shy or intimidated. In that case, there will probably be other signs that she does want to talk to you (ex. Her feet are pointed towards you, etc). Hence, combine the lack of eye contact with her other body language signals to see how she might be feeling. Remember that you’re only making an educated guess and that you cannot know how someone else is feeling for sure.

(Video) Revealing Signs A Woman Is Fighting Her Feelings Of Attraction For You

Can Eye Contact Lead to Attraction?

Yes. Eye contact is a great way to both create and gauge attraction. Prolonged eye contact can increase arousal if it is coming from a potential sexual partner. You can also tell if a smile is genuine through the eyes, which helps understand if someone is actually attracted to you. People who are mutually attracted to each other hold eye contact for longer and their pupils dilate. Holding strong eye contact and smiling through your eyes allows you to build tension and understand how much the other person is interested in you.


How do you know if a girl is interested by eye contact? ›

Watch for Their Eye Gaze

Like touch, eye contact triggers the release of oxytocin. When someone is attracted to you, they subconsciously will try engaging in lots of mutual eye contact. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying.

How to arouse a woman with eye contact? ›

Hold a person's gaze for a few moments and then offer a smile. Match eye contact with confident body language. Use your body to convey confidence in addition to your eyes. Matching a confident gaze with a confident helps bolster attraction.

Can you feel attraction through eye contact? ›

Eye contact is one of many signs of attraction, but it doesn't have to be. A person's eyes naturally wander and may make eye contact with someone else's in passing. If the other person immediately averts their gaze, they may not be interested.

Can you tell if someone is attracted to you by the way they look at you? ›

Here are the typical signs someone is attracted to you:

They tilt their head as you speak (a sign of engagement). They smile at you. They make eye contact with you. They reach out and touch your arm, hand, back, or leg.

Can eye contact seduce a girl? ›

Eye contact is really important

Looking into a woman's eyes while talking could be one of the best ways to talk to her and seduce her. Hold that eye contact for some time and then break it and hold it again. The moment you hold that eye contact for a few seconds you should know that you have done well.

Can eye contact make a girl fall for you? ›

Prolonged eye contact can cause attraction

A study published in the Journal of Research and Personality in which two opposite sex strangers were asked to gaze into each other's eyes for two minutes found that this was enough in some cases to produce passionate feelings for each other.

What is the psychology eye trick for flirting? ›

The so-called psychology love eye trick is a specific flirting move popularized by a series of TikTok videos posted by user Sophie Rose Lloyd. It involves looking at someone's left eye, then their lips, and then their right eye.

What is the intimate gaze? ›

The Intimate Gaze

In close encounters it is the triangular area between the eyes and the chest or breasts and for distant gazing from the eyes to the crotch. Men and women use this gaze to show interest in each other and those who are interested will return the gaze.

Why does eye contact feel so intense? ›

They say that our eyes are the only part of our brain that is directly exposed to the world. When you look another person in the eye, then, just think: it is perhaps the closest you will come to 'touching brains' – or touching souls if you like to be more poetic about these things.

How do you know a girl finds you attractive? ›

Signs a Girl Is Attracted to You
  • Smiling at you.
  • Shooting short glances your way.
  • Darting her eyes away when you look at her.
  • Making prolonged eye contact with you.
  • Running fingers through her hair.
  • Licking her lips.
  • Exposing her neck.
  • Tilting her heads towards you.
Aug 15, 2021

Does my crush like me if we make eye contact? ›

If they're shy, they may have a hard time keeping eye contact with you and will look away often. If they're not shy, your crush will maintain strong eye contact if they really like you. Watch your crush's pupils when they're looking at you—if they dilate, it's a sign that they like you.

What does mutual attraction feel like? ›

As mentioned in the article above, signs of mutual attraction can include frequent communication, physical touch, prolonged eye contact, mirroring, blushing, and flirtatious behavior. If the attraction is mutual between you and another person, you'll likely want to talk to each other rather frequently.

How to tell if someone finds you attractive by looking at them? ›

Physical signs of attraction:
  • Pupils dilate when they look at you. ...
  • Blushing and flushed skin. ...
  • Tonal voice changes. ...
  • Open body language. ...
  • Leaning closer to you. ...
  • Mirroring your behavior. ...
  • Sneaky gestures to enhance their appearance. ...
  • Increase in body temperature.
Dec 19, 2020

How do you tell if someone is attracted to you but trying to hide it? ›

10 Signs That Someone Likes You But Is Hiding It
  1. They may act a bit awkward around you. Who doesn't get a bit tongue-tied around a crush? ...
  2. They compliment you often. ...
  3. They get a little jealous. ...
  4. They ask questions. ...
  5. They remember the details. ...
  6. They want to spend time with you. ...
  7. They listen. ...
  8. They lean in when you talk.
Mar 24, 2023

Do girls avoid eye contact if they like you? ›

If a girl avoids eye contact with you, it can indicate that she's interested in you or not. Also, it might mean that she avoids eye contact generally with people or doesn't want a conversation with you. Regardless of the reason, checking her body language and talking to her might tell you why she avoids eye contact.

What is triangle gaze? ›

The social gaze is described as a friendly gaze that involves moving your eyes around an imaginary inverted triangle on someone's face from eye to mouth movement. The inverted triangle occurs between the two eyes and the mouth.

What is predatory or seductive eye contact? ›

Predatory or Seductive Eye Contact

Pick-up artists are also taught the art of maintaining seductive eye contact to convey so-called alpha dominance. Predatory psychopaths and narcissists maintain such eye contact naturally, often without blinking or looking away, and are said to have a reptilian gaze.

What is the triangle trick on a girl? ›

Try the triangle trick.

Picture an inverted triangle that acts as a perimeter around the person's main features. The points should encompass her eyes and mouth. When talking with each other, move your gaze from one point on the triangle to another every five to 10 seconds.

What happens to people's eyes when they're attracted to you? ›

For starters, oxytocin and dopamine — the “love hormones” — have an effect on pupil size. Your brain gets a boost of these chemicals when you're sexually or romantically attracted to someone. This surge in hormones appears to make your pupils dilate. Dilation may also be related to the biological need to reproduce.

What is the 3 second gaze rule? ›

Eye contact

With eye contact, there's a three second rule. If you hold someone's gaze for longer than three seconds, you enter a situation known as "kiss or kill". Longer eye contact signals one of two things - either you are attracted to the person or you want to attack them.

Does eye contact create intimacy? ›

Many studies show that eye contact can help build a stronger, deeper connection between partners. It strengthens relationships and increases intimacy. A study found that as we make eye contact, oxytocin (the “love hormone”) is released.

What is the 5 minute eye contact? ›

Set an intention for the exercise, such as, “To see my partner for where they are at.” Then slowly open your eyes, on the same count, and meet your partner's gaze. Look into your partner's left eye for approximately five minutes. The left eye has been identified with the emotional center of the brain.

Why is eye contact so hot? ›

Part of what makes eye contact so hot during sex is that both partners are completely open to one another—there's no hiding your true feelings. Having your partner understand what you need without saying it indicates a deep level of trust and compatibility that can take things to the next level.

How does someone look at you when they love you? ›

"When someone is in love with you, they will stare at your eyes more directly and for a longer period of time; they want to be completely present with you," Dr.

What does it mean when a girl stares at you without smiling? ›

You may notice her glaring at you without a trace of a smile on her face, which implies she's upset or annoyed at you in some way. Other signs that she's upset include giving you the silent treatment or speaking sarcastically (and sometimes with deliberate rudeness) when she does talk to you.

How do you tell if a girl looks at you and likes you? ›

9 Signals That Women Use to Show They Are Interested
  1. Making Eye Contact. Eye contact is a subtle but strong sign. ...
  2. She Smiles at You. ...
  3. She Plays with Her Hair. ...
  4. She Fidgets with Her Clothes. ...
  5. She Exhibits Open Body Language. ...
  6. She Mirrors Your Body Language. ...
  7. She Makes Sure You Notice Her. ...
  8. She Brushes By You.

How do you know a girl is tempted? ›

She will touch you

You will know when it is a friendly touch and when the touch lingers on for an extra second. If she touches your arm, neck or your face, she is telling you that she wants to touch you more intimately. She might even touch herself to draw your attention to her body.

Can a man sense when a woman is attracted to him? ›

According to a new study by the University of Kent, men can differentiate between the smell of a woman who's turned on and one who's not into him. Moreover, findings have proven that, in turn, men are more attracted to those women who find them attractive.

What does flirty eye contact look like? ›

As for what flirty eyes are, it's the look you give someone when you want to kiss them. It's when you lean into someone and look straight into their eyes, as if to tell them, “Tell me more, I love hearing you talk.” Since you aren't actually putting your feelings into words, it's uncomplicated.

How do you make eye contact with a girl without being creepy? ›

Tips for Making Eye Contact
  1. Establish eye contact at the start. Make eye contact before you start talking to someone.
  2. Use the 50/70 rule. Maintain eye contact 50% of the time when speaking and 70% when listening.
  3. Look for 4–5 seconds. ...
  4. Look away slowly. ...
  5. Use the triangle technique. ...
  6. Make a gesture. ...
  7. Look near the eyes.
Nov 17, 2022

What causes instant attraction? ›

Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.

Can you feel intense attraction? ›

Intense sexual attraction can be so intense that the new person serves as a sort of drug or stimulant, and it is typically impossible to reach a sense of true satiation when such feelings get triggered. In other words, it never feels like enough.

Why are you drawn to someone? ›

The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.

Do people stare when they find you attractive? ›

If you notice he is making more eye contact with you or you catch a guy staring at you, he is probably attracted to you. He may be enthralled by your good looks and may be fantasizing about kissing you. Perhaps he stares at you and smiles; that could mean he likes you, too.

How can I tell I'm attractive? ›

When considering signs you're attractive, here is what you might notice.
  1. You get compliments about your smile. ...
  2. You don't get many compliments. ...
  3. You grab people's attention and make them stare. ...
  4. A person's behavior seems strange or over-attentive. ...
  5. People gravitate toward you.
May 17, 2023

What is the first thing you find attractive with someone? ›

The first thing anyone notices about another person is definitely their looks and their appearance. Even in matters of love, the basic thing that attracts a guy to a girl is their guise and the way they look.

How can a person tell if they are attracted to someone? ›

For example, sweaty palms, butterflies in your tummy, and an increased heart rate are all scientific signs of attraction! Pay attention to how your body responds the next time you're around them. Feeling stressed or anxious can also be a sign that you're into them.

How can you tell if someone is faking attraction? ›

6 Signs Someone is FAKING Their Love for You
  • #1: They don't talk about or plan a future with you.
  • #2: They can talk the talk, but they won't ever walk the walk.
  • #3: You're feeling a lot of negative feelings from the relationship.
  • #4: Your partner thinks “love” is an emotion.
  • #5: They don't make an effort.
Apr 19, 2022

What happens when you look at someone you're attracted to? ›

Eye dilation and attraction

When you're attracted to someone or see something that appeals to you, your body responds the same way it does when you see something you perceive as a threat: your sympathetic nervous system activates.

How do you know if a girl stares at you? ›

Smiling and looking at you often is a surefire sign of attraction. When a girl is attracted to you, she'll look at you appreciatively and consciously—hoping you'll notice rather than sneaking glances without really thinking about it. She'll also try to meet your gaze and make eye contact while smiling at you.

Can you tell if a girl likes you by the way she looks at you? ›

If she's interested and forward, she'll be looking at you and will maintain eye contact when you lock eyes. She may smile or she may scan your face and give you a double-take. This is a pretty obvious sign that she likes you and she isn't afraid to show it, either.

Does your crush stare at you? ›

If you notice he is making more eye contact with you or you catch a guy staring at you, he is probably attracted to you. He may be enthralled by your good looks and may be fantasizing about kissing you. Perhaps he stares at you and smiles; that could mean he likes you, too.

Is she interested or just being nice? ›

If she looks away really fast, or smiles, or blushes, she's into you. If she casually looks away and doesn't engage anymore, she's probably not into you. If she's talking to you and laughing/smiling a lot, she's flirting. If she's playing with her hair, she's flirting.

Why do I hold eye contact when talking to a girl? ›

If you hold eye contact with a girl for more than a second or two (or if the girl looks at you, looks away, then looks back at you) it's a sign the girl is interested. You've caught her attention and by her holding eye contact she's given you an invitation to approach.

Why does she look at me from a distance? ›

If a girl looks at you from a distance repeatedly, there is a good chance that she is into you. It's possible that she is signaling you to make the first move and talk to her. If you're already acquainted, you can even consider asking her out on a date.

What does it mean when a girl breaks eye contact first? ›

But if someone breaks eye contact with you quickly and intentionally, it's usually a polarized response: they're either attracted and momentarily self-conscious by your presence, or they're uninterested and avoiding making contact altogether.

Do girls like it when guys check them out? ›

It depends on the guy and the kind of look. If the guy is handsome/cute, we feel good or might even return the glances. If the guy is handsome/cute, but is staring , we get uncomfortable. If the guy is not so handsome, we don't mind the look or don't bother.

What are signs a girl doesn't like you? ›

If her attention is primarily on anything other than you, and if she doesn't seem excited to be spending time with you, that's the number-one universal sign that you're not her #1 choice. If she: Is constantly checking her phone. Acts like there's somewhere else she needs or wants to be.


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