9 Formal Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (2023)

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder may include grandiosity, lack of insight, arrogance, and need for praise.

The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are usually complex and can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional.

Narcissistic traits can make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships, a fact that earns people living with narcissistic personality disorder plenty of stigma.

Personality disorders are not a personal choice, however. Common misconceptions about them can complicate recovery for people who might want to reach out for help.

In fact, the idea that narcissistic personality disorder symptoms can’t be treated is just another myth.

Learning more about narcissistic personality, and the complex processes underlying its symptoms can help.

There are specific criteria for the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder in the most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

Criteria include at least five of these nine symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder:

  1. grandiosity and self-importance
  2. fantasies of success, perfection, or power
  3. a strong conviction of being special and unique
  4. a need for admiration and praise
  5. entitlement
  6. a pattern of exploiting others for personal gain
  7. low empathy
  8. envy, jealousy, and distrust
  9. arrogance, haughtiness, and scorn

Diagnosis criteria require these symptoms of narcissistic personality to remain consistent over time and show up in most domains of life. These symptoms may impair a person’s ability to function and relate to others, in general.

A narcissist may engage in controlling behaviors in a relationship, for example. A narcissistic ex may move on quickly as well.

But these narcissistic behaviors won’t just affect romantic relationships. They’ll also show up in the workplace and with family and friends.

Experts typically diagnose the condition in adulthood. Many adults have a narcissistic trait or two, though. This does not automatically mean they have narcissistic personality, especially when these narcissistic traits only show up in specific situations.

For example:

  • wanting admiration from a romantic partner
  • holding a proud attitude at work or school
  • showing entitled behavior at home but nowhere else

Some people experience a handful of symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder that have a severe impact on interpersonal relationships and functioning. Others have several mild traits that nonetheless affect daily life.

The DSM-5 doesn’t detail different types of narcissistic personality, but some experts recognize four types of narcissism:

  1. grandiose (overt) narcissism
  2. vulnerable (covert) narcissism, also called closet narcissism
  3. high-functioning narcissism
  4. malignant narcissism

An important aspect of personality disorders is that typical condition behaviors or symptoms usually cause a great deal of distress to the person.

A closer look at the nine symptoms of narcissitic personality disorder can offer more insight:

Grandiosity and self-importance

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Generally speaking, grandiosity is the defining symptom of narcissistic personality disorder.

If the term grandiosity calls to mind “grand,” you’re not far from the mark.

People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to consider themselves grand, important, and better than others.

Grandiose behavior, which helps establish this sense of personal importance, might involve:

  • bragging about personal achievements and skills
  • exaggerating or lying about past accomplishments
  • devaluing or criticizing others
  • anger or rage when achievements go unrecognized
  • regularly describing personal attributes, such as intelligence, power, strength, wealth, and attractiveness or sex appeal

If you have the characteristics of a narcissist, you might expect people to recognize you as superior and feel confused or frustrated when they don’t acknowledge your accomplishments.

When others achieve something admirable, you might feel the need to challenge them. For example, you would point out where they went wrong or how they could have done better.

When it comes to covert narcissism, grandiose behavior often goes unrecognized. This is because instead of openly boasting or describing themselves as superior, covert narcissists might dwell on these achievements internally. They would also spend a lot of time fantasizing about their own importance versus talking about it.

People with symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder might spend a lot of time imagining scenarios where they receive the recognition and acceptance they believe they deserve.

These fantasies might center on things like:

  • a supervisor singling out your “flawless” work in front of your co-workers
  • attractive celebrities falling in love with you and begging for a date
  • meeting and becoming friends with famous people you admire
  • winning prestigious awards for your creative work
  • earning praise and admiration for rescuing someone from danger

People with vulnerable narcissism might spend more time thinking about their own abilities, while those with overt narcissistic traits might openly share these fantasies with others. They might also present them as reality, not dreams.

Many experts believe early childhood experiences help shape narcissistic traits. Parenting tactics can certainly play a part.

Most parents believe their children are unique and special. However, in the case of someone with narcissistic personality, maybe one of the parents regularly insisted they were perfect, excused mistakes, and denied shortcomings.

This might lead to someone growing up convinced of their own specialness.

Instances in which this need to be special and unique might manifest include:

  • only choosing services others consider “the best” (e.g., fly first class, stay in five-star hotels, and eat at top restaurants)
  • purchasing only name-brand items
  • insisting on seeing prestigious specialists, even for minor health concerns
  • seeking out friendships with distinguished or famous people
  • dating only people that others find attractive, intelligent, or powerful

When people fail to recognize them, someone with narcissistic personality may decide their opinion simply doesn’t matter. This can be justified by stating these people don’t understand how unique and special they are.

A need for praise, attention, and admiration

(Video) Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Causes, Signs and Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment.

People with traits of narcissistic personality often appear to have a high opinion of themselves. This may lead others to not realize this self-importance is sometimes a front.

The sense of superiority that they show to others might help disguise deep-seated internal insecurities and a fragile self-concept. This is why they still need and require praise from others.

This need for praise relates to another key component of narcissistic personality: difficulty with whole object relations. Whole object relations refers to the ability to see people and situations as integrated and complex.

Someone with narcissistic personality might have a difficult time recognizing that everyone, including themselves, has a mix of personality traits. Instead, they often assume one flaw means someone is wholly flawed.

As a cognitive distortion, this is called splitting, or all-or-nothing thinking.

The praise and attention someone with narcissistic personality disorder earns from others help reinforce their sense of superiority.

They might, for example:

  • expect people to admire their style, looks, or abilities
  • feel enraged when they don’t receive praise for accomplishments
  • hint for compliments if they aren’t offered automatically
  • spend a lot of time wondering how others perceive them
  • expect others to envy them and desire their status, life, or belongings
  • make public gestures, like financial donations or acts of kindness, to earn praise

When someone with narcissistic personality doesn’t receive this admiration and praise, they might feel conflicted and frustrated. They might sometimes even begin to doubt that people consider them unique or important.

For someone without whole object relations, failing to achieve perfection implies “you’re nothing.”

If a single flaw can redefine you as a whole as inadequate, you’ll probably find it extremely difficult to accept criticism. This is typical in some people with narcissistic personality.

For example, when a mistake is pointed out, someone with narcissistic personality might protect their vulnerabilities by:

  • angrily lashing out and criticizing or devaluing the other person
  • making passive-aggressive or snide remarks
  • subtly twisting or shifting blame to make themselves look better
  • ignoring the other person to show how little they think of them
  • privately nursing hurts and grudges, and planning some kind of vendetta

If you believe you’re special and superior to others, you might expect to receive special treatment and privileges to match.

In the case of someone with NPD, entitlement can show up in various ways and across situations. For example:

  • When waiting to get into a club, they might expect to move straight to the front of the line. After all, they’re more attractive than anyone else.
  • Their romantic partner shouldn’t waste time talking with friends when they want company. Don’t their needs come first?
  • They work harder and do a better job than anyone else, so they deserve to set their own schedule.
  • How can their roommates make noise in the living room while they’re working on their novel? Don’t they realize how inconsiderate that is?

With covert narcissism, a person might internally fixate on what they consider their due instead of outright insisting on special treatment. Failing to receive these privileges might lead to feelings of anger and resentment.

Using manipulation tactics is one of the most common symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.

Someone with narcissistic personality might feel that if people don’t show enough dedication to their needs, they need other ways to get their way. Manipulation might become a tool to get others to fulfill such needs.

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Here’s an example of how manipulation can sometimes manifest in narcissism:

You want to spend time with your partner, but they went out with a friend. You might feel jealous but don’t want to say so.

When your partner gets home, you ask how they could be so inconsiderate of your feelings, especially after you’ve had such a rough week at work.

“You’re never here when I need you. Clearly, you don’t care about me at all, since you never consider what I need. Don’t my feelings matter?”

Your partner apologizes profusely, telling you how awful they feel and assuring you of how much your feelings do matter.

As a result, you get more time and attention from them.

In fact, playing the victim is a commonly narcissistic behavior.

Someone with narcissistic personality might also use other exploitive or manipulative tactics, such as:

  • putting themselves down so people recognize their abilities
  • insisting others help and support them before taking care of themselves
  • complimenting someone to receive praise back
  • failing to recognize when they’ve made unrealistic demands of others
  • treating people unkindly when they’re unwilling to do things for them
  • lying or deceiving others to get their needs met

Empathy, in basic terms, describes the ability to understand how others think and feel. Low empathy can make it difficult to connect with others on an emotional level.

Someone with narcissistic personality might:

  • focus on their own problems and feelings without realizing that others have important needs, too
  • expect others to put them first
  • have trouble understanding other people’s feelings and experiences
  • have little interest in other people’s difficulties
  • consider expressing feelings a sign of weakness
  • avoid doing things for others unless it benefits them

Keep in mind that low empathy isn’t the same as no empathy.

Some people with narcissistic personality may have a greater capacity for empathy than others, but it’s a myth that all people with narcissistic personality are incapable of ever understanding how others feel.

Narcissistic personality commonly involves feelings of envy and jealousy.

If a person with narcissistic personality notices others receiving the praise, admiration, or status they desire, they might envy them.

Envy might then prompt criticism or covertly harbor bitterness and resentment.

At the same time, a person living with narcissistic personality might believe others envy their superiority and unique abilities.

They might even assume others are working behind their back to undermine or steal the opportunities they deserve.

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This suspicion or lack of trust in others might lead someone with narcissistic personality to take action in the form of vindictive behaviors. This can manifest as discrediting co-workers before they can succeed, for example.

Jealousy also often shows up in relationships with others.

Someone with narcissistic personality might feel uneasy or upset if their partner or friend receives attention.

This sense of not being the center of admiration might trigger feelings of insecurity and anger.

Arrogance and haughtiness generally accompany a sense of superiority, and people with narcissistic personality can behave in condescending ways.

This disdain for others might show up as:

  • a “high and mighty” attitude or snobbishness
  • contempt for people who make mistakes
  • scorn for those who don’t recognize their superiority
  • a tendency to patronize “ordinary” people
  • aggressive or sharp responses to perceived criticism

Having narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t make anyone a bad person. It’s not a personal choice. It results from a complex intersection of factors.

Change is possible, however.

Connecting with a trained mental health professional can offer benefits. This type of support might be particularly helpful when:

  • You live with several key signs or symptoms of narcissistic personality.
  • These symptoms remain constant over time or worsen.
  • You have trouble functioning in multiple areas of life.
  • There’s a high level of distress and friction in your life.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality include traits like grandiosity, jealousy, and low empathy.

Lasting change requires time and effort, but it’s absolutely possible.

A skilled therapist can also offer guidance with:

  • understanding actions and emotions
  • exploring new patterns of behavior
  • replacing manipulation tactics with other coping behaviors
  • developing greater empathy
  • improving interpersonal skills

To find more information on narcissistic personality symptoms and seek support from a therapist, consider visiting these resources:

FAQs

What are the 9 traits of NPD? ›

The nine most common traits for NPD include:
  • Having an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement. ...
  • Needing constant admiration. ...
  • Expecting special treatment. ...
  • Exaggerating achievements and talents. ...
  • Reacting negatively to criticism. ...
  • Being preoccupied with fantasies about power, success, and beauty.
28 Oct 2022

What are the nine types of narcissists? ›

According to Dr. Stevens, there are nine types of narcissists: Craver, Special Lover, Power Broker, Body Shaper, Rager, Trickster, Fantasy Maker, Martyr, and Rescuer.

What are the 12 signs of narcissism? ›

12 signs of narcissism
  • Superiority and entitlement. The world of the narcissist is all about good-bad, superior-inferior, and right-wrong. ...
  • Exaggerated need for attention and validation. ...
  • Lack of responsibility—blaming and deflecting. ...
  • Lack of boundaries. ...
  • Lack of empathy. ...
  • Emotional reasoning. ...
  • Splitting. ...
  • Fear.
24 Nov 2018

What are the red flags of a narcissist? ›

Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.

What are the 15 signs of a narcissist? ›

Read on for an in-depth look at the signs that you're dealing with a narcissist.
  • Superiority and entitlement. ...
  • Exaggerated need for attention and validation. ...
  • Perfectionism. ...
  • Great need for control. ...
  • Lack of responsibility. ...
  • Lack of boundaries. ...
  • Lack of empathy. ...
  • Perceiving everything as a threat.
25 Jul 2022

What are the 5 main habits of a narcissist? ›

Common Narcissist Characteristics
  • Inflated Ego.
  • Lack of Empathy.
  • Need for Attention.
  • Repressed Insecurities.
  • Few Boundaries.

What are the four subtle signs of a narcissist? ›

What Is Narcissism?
  1. Having a sense of self-importance or grandiosity.
  2. Experiencing fantasies about being influential, famous, or important.
  3. Exaggerating their abilities, talents, and accomplishments.
  4. Craving admiration and acknowledgment.
  5. Being preoccupied with beauty, love, power, or success.
14 Jul 2022

What are the biggest signs of a narcissist? ›

Symptoms
  • Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
  • Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration.
  • Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it.
  • Exaggerate achievements and talents.
18 Nov 2017

What is the most common narcissist? ›

Overt Narcissism (Agentic Narcissism)

Overt narcissism, also called agentic narcissism, is what you might think of as the “classic” and most obvious form of NPD. Someone experiencing overt narcissism is excessively preoccupied with how others see them.

What is the highest form of narcissism? ›

Malignant narcissists are often regarded as having the most extreme form of NPD, and while they will have the regular qualities of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, their self-absorption and self-obsession is accompanied by some darker behaviors as well.

What are the 20 traits of a narcissist? ›

Here's a list of the 20 most characteristic signs of a narcissist:
  • They lack empathy and remorse.
  • They are condescending towards others.
  • They have high but fragile, self-esteem.
  • They bully, demean, and intimidate others.
  • They seek constant attention and admiration.
  • They can't handle the mildest of criticisms.
31 May 2020

What are the 13 traits of a narcissist? ›

13 Signs Of Narcissists Who Sabotage Your Happiness
  • They feel they are superior to you. ...
  • They often break rules and have poor boundaries themselves. ...
  • They have a deep need for admiration and validation. ...
  • They are emotionally abusive. ...
  • They can be very charismatic and seductive. ...
  • They are skilled manipulators.

What are the 7 signs of a narcissist? ›

7 Characteristics of a Narcissist
  • 7 Characteristics of a Narcissist. ...
  • They seem perfect at first. ...
  • They talk about themselves almost all the time. ...
  • They are sensitive to perceived criticism. ...
  • They give backhanded compliments. ...
  • They manipulate your feelings. ...
  • They are arrogant. ...
  • They cannot stand rejection.

What are narcissist jealous of? ›

They get jealous about everything

They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.

How do you know a narcissist is toxic? ›

Toxic People, for the Most Part, Are Narcissists

Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.

How do you spot a narcissist in 5 minutes? ›

Here's how to spot a narcissist in five minutes or less.
...
3. Watch how they present themselves (Look for the charm)
  1. Neat appearance.
  2. Flashy behavior.
  3. Charming facial expressions.
  4. Self-confident body language (spread out, standing tall and wide, hand gestures)
  5. Funny.
17 Sept 2018

What are the 3 stages of narcissism? ›

The narcissistic abuse cycle is a pattern of highs and lows in which the narcissist confuses their partner through manipulation and calculated behaviors aimed at making their partner question themselves. The cycle has three specific phases: Idealization, devaluation, and rejection.

Do narcissists apologize? ›

Someone with NPD or narcissistic behaviors is unlikely to do things like apologize or sing your praises without it being self-serving. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a “narcissist.”

How are narcissists with money? ›

Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.

What should you not say to a narcissist? ›

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."
15 Dec 2017

What are narcissists good at? ›

Empathy for others and recognition of their needs. Authentic self-concept. Self-respect and self-love. Courage to abide criticism from others while maintaining positive self-regard.

What are the facial features of a narcissist? ›

Grandiose narcissists have thicker and denser eyebrows and people automatically pick up on this cue. Across a series of studies, hundreds of participants were asked to look at pictures of people with varying degrees of narcissism.

How can you tell a narcissist at first glance? ›

9 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist — and How to Get Out
  1. Charming first impression.
  2. Hogging the conversation.
  3. Feeding off compliments.
  4. Lacking empathy.
  5. No long-term friends.
  6. Picking on you.
  7. Gaslighting you.
  8. Thinking they're right.

How do you identify a narcissist with one simple question? ›

A new study describes a single question that appears to be nearly as accurate at identifying narcissists than a commonly used narcissist diagnostic test 40 items long. And that single question is this: “To what extent do you agree with this statement: I am a narcissist.

How does a narcissist act when you know? ›

When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.

What are common narcissistic behaviors? ›

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

Are narcissists mean people? ›

People with narcissistic behavior already see themselves as superior to others, so they may become rude or abusive when they don't receive the treatment they think they deserve. While they hold themselves superior, they may speak or act rudely toward those that they deem are inferior.

What raises a narcissist? ›

Studies have also found that shame, insecurity and fear are at the root of the narcissist's inner self.

How do you spot a narcissist in psychology today? ›

Traits of a Narcissist
  1. They have a grandiose sense of self-worth and self-importance. ...
  2. They are preoccupied or obsessed with success, power, beauty, love, etc.
  3. They believe they are unique and can only be understood by specific people.
  4. They require and demand a constant flow of admiration and attention;
4 May 2022

What are the 11 traits of a narcissist? ›

12 signs of a narcissist
  • Grandiose sense of self. ...
  • Excessive need for admiration. ...
  • Superficial and exploitative relationships. ...
  • Need for control. ...
  • Lack of empathy. ...
  • Identity disturbance. ...
  • Difficulty with attachment and dependency. ...
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom.

How do you make a narcissist happy? ›

For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.

What are the 4 stages of narcissism? ›

There are four phases of narcissistic manipulation: attraction, feeling small, sabotage, and countering manipulation with kindness.

What are the 4 types of narcissism? ›

As a personality trait, narcissism can be overt, covert, antagonistic, communal, or malignant.
...
Researchers and experts typically work around five types of narcissism:
  • overt narcissism.
  • covert narcissism.
  • antagonistic narcissism.
  • communal narcissism.
  • malignant narcissism.

How does a narcissistic mother behave? ›

A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.

What is the true meaning of a narcissist? ›

Overview. Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

What is a narcissistic male? ›

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

Can a narcissist be a good person? ›

Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.

Who does a narcissist fall in love with? ›

There are four types of people who narcissists tend to be attracted to, according to Arluck: People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures.

What does a narcissist talk about? ›

Excessive Aggrandizement & Self-Praise

Face-to-face or in social media, narcissist communicators often enjoy flaunting, bragging, humble bragging, or dramatizing their supposedly envy-worthy lifestyle, praise-worthy achievements, attention-worthy dramas, and status/trophy-worthy relationships.

How does a narcissist make love? ›

A key difference lies in the fact that people with sexual narcissism generally believe they have a right to sex, especially within the context of a romantic relationship. They pursue sex for physical enjoyment, not emotional connection, and they might exploit or manipulate partners in order to have sex.

How does a narcissist describe love? ›

Narcissists can't grasp the concept of love as a mutual devotion that includes acceptance of flaws. Love does not sustain them, it feels elusive and unsafe.” The problem is, he explains, that to the narcissist, admiration feels safer. It feels safer, because we can earn admiration through our achievements.

Videos

1. It's not me, it's you … An inside into narcissistic personality disorder
(Demystifying Medicine McMaster)
2. Nine Features of the Narcissist / Borderline Couple | Romance & Personality Disorders
(Dr. Todd Grande)
3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder: DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria
(Talk Mental Health by Dr Beth Colby)
4. Nine Signs Of A Narcissist. (Narcissistic Personality Disorder.)
(Understanding Narcissism, by Elizabeth Shaw.)
5. 9 Therapies That Might Cure People With Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
(Spot The Narcissist)
6. The 9 Traits of the Narcissist | Little Lessons With David Servant
(David Servant)
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